Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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