I'm gonna have a badass scar
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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