Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
