Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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