problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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