About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
