Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
