So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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