apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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