how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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