I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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