My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
