I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
