This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
