There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
