very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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