then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
