Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
