I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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