I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
