I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
