Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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