Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
sarcasm needs its own font
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
