i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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