just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Come on in and take your pants off
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