so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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