I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
