If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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