she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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