I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
