So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
