I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
