Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
