Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
