She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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