mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
