Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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