Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
