All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
