Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
this will be a night to untag.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
