Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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