Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Someone came in the potted fern
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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