I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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