i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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