For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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