I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
