Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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