Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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