so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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