Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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