Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
