question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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