Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
