I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
