the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
